If you’re ready to stop being a hot mess and learn how to manifest, but it feels like you’re doing all the things—reading the books, watching TikToks, journaling your heart out—and still getting absolutely nowhere, then we need to talk. There’s one big reason why your dream life hasn’t magically appeared yet, and no one’s telling you about it.
Here’s the thing: all those affirmations, visualisations, and vision boards? They’re cute, but if you’re not doing this one thing first, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Before you even think about calling in that dream house, relationship, or bank balance, you’ve got to do something super important—regulate your nervous system. Yeah, it’s not the sexiest advice, but trust me, it’s a game-changer.
Why You Need to Calm Your Nervous System First
You can’t figure out how to manifest your dream life when your nervous system is in survival mode. Here’s the thing: your subconscious mind runs the show. No matter how many times you visualise your perfect life or say your affirmations, if your body is in fight-or-flight mode, your subconscious is too busy freaking out to believe any of it.
When your nervous system is on high alert, your brain doesn’t care about your vision board—it’s focused on survival. And that’s why all your manifestation efforts might feel like they’re going nowhere. To really get the magic going, you need to calm the chaos and get yourself into a state where your mind and body can actually receive what you’re asking for.
Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve been in this personal development game for a hot minute. I first read The Secret when I was 19 years old, and now that I’m in my late 30s, I can tell you: I’ve learned a thing or two. And guess what? All the affirmations and visualisations in the world won’t help if you’re in constant fight-or-flight mode. It wasn’t until I learned to regulate my nervous system that things finally started to click.
Your subconscious won’t believe you’re ready for that dream life until your nervous system is calm. When you’re constantly in survival mode, your body is too busy reacting to stress to believe that you’re safe, let alone ready to thrive. But when you calm your nervous system, everything changes. You stop fighting yourself, and that’s when the real magic happens.
How to Regulate Your Nervous System and Finally Manifest Like a Pro
So how do you stop being a hot mess and finally learn how to manifest your dream life? It’s all about bringing your nervous system out of chaos and into calm. And lucky for you, I’ve done the legwork and found a few methods that work wonders. Here’s what helped me go from “WTF is happening” to “OMG, the magic is real!”:
1. Breathwork (AKA Breathe, Girl, Breathe)
First up: breathwork. I’m not talking about just a deep sigh when your Wi-Fi acts up. I mean intentional breathwork. When you breathe consciously, you send signals to your nervous system that it’s safe to chill. One of my favorite techniques is the 4-7-8 method: breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. It’s basically a reset button for your whole body. Do this regularly, and I promise, you’ll feel like a Zen master ready to manifest like a boss.
2. EFT (Tapping) – Because Sometimes, We All Need to Tap It Out
Ever heard of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? It’s like giving yourself a quick therapy session with a side of acupuncture (minus the needles). You tap specific points on your body while repeating phrases that acknowledge your emotions. It’s weirdly effective at releasing all that pent-up anxiety and emotional gunk you didn’t even know you were carrying around. After a good tapping session, your nervous system will be feeling like, “Okay, I’m calm. Let’s get manifesting.”
3. Grounding – Because Sometimes You Just Need to Touch Grass
Yep, grounding is exactly what it sounds like. Get outside, kick off your shoes, and put your feet on the earth. Whether it’s grass, dirt, or sand, connecting physically with the ground helps reset your nervous system. And let’s be real—who doesn’t need a little sunshine on their face and some earth between their toes? It’s simple, free, and oh-so-effective for getting your mind and body in sync.
4. Vagus Nerve Stimulation – The VIP of Your Nervous System
Here’s something fancy: stimulating your vagus nerve. This nerve is like the unsung hero of your nervous system. It controls your relaxation response, and when you activate it, your body can’t help but calm down. Simple ways to stimulate your vagus nerve include humming, cold showers, and even yoga. It’s like hacking your body’s stress response so it listens when you tell it to chill out and let the magic flow.
5. Meditation
Meditation is the OG of calming techniques. Even if you only have 5 minutes a day, getting still and present with yourself can create the space you need to calm your nervous system down.
The Real Magic Happens When You’re Calm
Here’s the real kicker: once you regulate your nervous system, the magic starts happening. For years, I thought I could just slap up a vision board, light a candle, and boom—instant dream life. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work that way (unless you’re one of those annoyingly lucky people who can manifest effortlessly). For the rest of us mere mortals, we’ve got to calm the chaos inside before we can start calling in the good stuff.
Once I started taking nervous system regulation seriously, things finally started to shift. Opportunities appeared out of nowhere, stress melted away, and I began to thrive. It was like the universe was saying, “Okay, now that you’re ready, here’s everything you asked for.”
Don’t Beat Yourself Up—It’s Okay to Be a Hot Mess Sometimes
Look, we’ve all been there. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes you’re just trying to survive. Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been stuck in a cycle of stress and chaos. The truth is, most of us have some kind of trauma—whether it’s from childhood, societal pressures, or just the rollercoaster that is adulting.
The key is to give yourself some grace. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. But if you’re serious about learning how to manifest your dream life, start with calming your nervous system. Once you do that, everything else becomes so much easier. You’ll go from hot mess express to thriving manifesting queen in no time.
Conclusion: How to Stop Being a Hot Mess and Manifest Your Dream Life
The #1 overlooked tool in manifestation is also the simplest: Get your nervous system in check. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s time to stop the chaos and get your system regulated. Trust me, it’s the most overlooked yet crucial step in manifestation. When your mind and body are calm, your subconscious is ready to help you actually manifest the life you’ve been dreaming about. So take a breath, tap it out, get grounded, and let the universe work its magic. You’ve got this!
Got more questions or need help getting started? Drop a comment below or reach out—I’ve been there, and I’m more than happy to share what I’ve learned. Till next time XOXO.
I’m dedicated to wellness, constantly striving to be my best self while inspiring others to do the same. Embracing my journey, flaws and all, I’m committed to biohacking for a healthier, longer life—so I can be a present mama for my kids and inspire others to authentically live their best lives too. 💫
Such a timely post & love EFT 💕