My Scary Stalker, Part Two!

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Stalker

If you haven’t read part one of this story then I suggest you go read it over here first before continuing onto my scary stalker, part two.┬áSo guys, at the end of part one I had literally blocked John from every single communication mode I could think of, and I really did think that was it….and it was for a while, the calls stopped, no more messages, nothing. I actually even forgot he even existed, and life carried on as normal.

There was a random creepy message on my Facebook once, from someone with a name I didn’t recognise, but I immediately knew it was John as the message just said what he had been previously saying before I blocked him…..he wanted to know how my son was doing and if he could visit. Seriously??? I blocked that person as well and forgot about it.

Fast forward to about a year later, that’s right an entire year passed by and I was sure I had put that ordeal behind me. So I reconnected with the friend of mine whom I had met John through, and as with all reunions we started reminiscing about the past. I wasn’t sure if she was aware of my scary encounter with her cousin, and I didn’t really want to talk about it much, but curiosity about his whereabouts got the better of me and asked her how he was he was doing. Oh boy, I almost wish I hadn’t asked….

My friend proceeded to tell me how John was suffering from a mental illness but was refusing treatment. Apparently he had been delusional for about THREE YEARS, and somehow believed that I was his girlfriend and my son was HIS biological child. Ummmm what????? So this had been going on for years, and he had told EVERYONE he knew that he had fathered a child with me. Did I mention that I met this guy like three times in total? I never ever had a single minute alone with him, so I was baffled as to how he went from being a stranger to the father of my child.

If that’s not bad enough, then brace yourself for what’s coming. John’s delusions were so real to him that he left his wife (yes he was married), packed his bags and had moved to less than 2 blocks away from where I lived, and I was none the wiser. He didn’t know my exact address but apparently moved to my area in search of me and his “phantom son”, so was constantly searching everyday hoping to bump into us, eeeek!

At this point I am both FREAKING out and also thanking God at the same time that we never crossed paths. Can you imagine what would’ve happened if we had? I dare not even think about it.
I don’t have a lot of experience with mental illness but I know that such delusions if left untreated then could be dangerous for him and especially my son and I. We’re talking bout a guy who called his entire family, including his wife to a meeting to announce that I was his girlfriend and we had a son together, so he believed we all belonged together, just the three of us as a family, and he was going to do everything in his power to make that happen.

A part of me felt really betrayed that even though we had grown apart, my friend didn’t reach out to tell about something as serious as this, anything could’ve happened. I now really do believe that sometimes ignorance is bliss because my son and I were in danger and we didn’t even know it.

As It stands now, John’s condition apparently remains untreated and he is still pretty much somewhere out there believing in the same delusions. That is very scary to me, to have that knowledge because he’s probably still looking for us. My only sense of comfort is the fact that we no longer live in the same area, and I am now VERY careful about disclosing any kind of personal information that could’ve led to him finding out where I live online.

Online safety

I can safely say this experience has changed me for life. I now double lock and double/triple check that all my windows and doors are locked at night. I almost never post pictures of my son on social media, because ANYONE can literally just save a picture and god knows what else you post. I’m very careful to check that my location services are always off when posting anything, especially when I’m at home.

Life does go on, and I can’t live in fear of John so I choose to move forward and use this experience as a reminder to be cautious. I don’t hate John, I understand that he has an illness, but I really do hope that he gets the helps he so badly needs before someone gets hurt.

There is still a huge stigma and discrimination around mental illness and I truly feel that is why some people are so reluctant to seek help before it escalates.

I hope this serves as a precautionary tale for you my lovelies, be careful out there. In this world of social media, it can be very tempting to share every aspect of our lives, but please do take some safety precautions to make sure you’re staying safe.

I’d love to know if you’ve had any scary/creepy stalker experiences? What safety precautions are you taking online? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time, stay safe and love the life you’re living! Xo

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6 Comments

  1. Terri May 24, 2015 / 9:22 am

    Wow this scary stuff. Luckily I haven’t experienced anything like this not sure what I would do.

  2. Stephanie May 24, 2015 / 9:39 am

    What a crazy and scary situation to be in, I’m always careful about posting too much online, but thanks for sharing x

  3. vicky May 24, 2015 / 8:33 pm

    Omg! How scarey, how could your friend not tell you anything, i would be so scared

  4. Coco May 24, 2015 / 11:25 pm

    WOW!!! This is crazy! I hope you let the authorities know though still just as added precaution. Thank God you’re both safe! And I too think your friend should’ve at least even given you a heads up on this. Anything could’ve happened but I’m glad it didn’t.

  5. Petula May 29, 2015 / 5:53 pm

    I can’t believe this happened to someone I “know.” I watch that show Stalker and see how these things play out in reality. Not to mention watching the news, etc.

    I’ve never experienced anything like this. I’ve been a writer for more than 20 years so my name, etc., and some of where I have worked can be found online. When posting nowadays I don’t include the name of my children’s schools or the street where I live, but I’ve noticed on some of those white page search pages and other public info pages my entire address history is on there. When I tell people about it they’re surprised especially when they aren’t online and don’t share information.

    Even though this hasn’t happened to me if I’m somewhere and a person looks suspicious or seems like they’re following me I always make random turns and don’t go directly home. My oldest daughter says she does the same thing. An online presence has made us even more vulnerable to those who are unstable. But, like you said, I try not to live in fear and make an effort to be safe at home as well as not revealing too much online. (However, I think I reveal more than a lot of people!)

    I hope that you don’t have to worry about him any longer and that he gets the help he needs. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Petula recently posted…The story of me and writingMy Profile

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